Spit and Spirits

Posts Tagged ‘beer

Beers and Spray Tans

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'Wow, I look pretty good for 37!'

‘Wow, I look pretty good for 37!’

I’m going to tell you something I swore I wouldn’t tell anyone, ever. And to be honest, I’m a little nervous about it. However I feel this is a safe place. A place of non-judgment. Somewhere we can let it all dangle in the breeze and save our sniggering for later when we aren’t around each other. Not that I do that of course.

Read the rest of this entry »


Holiday in Hell: You Won’t Want to Leave

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You should totally check out my specials on Wotif!

For my next holiday I’m going to hell.

No seriously, I am. With all the so called ‘bad’ behaviour increasingly getting hoovered out of our lives via constant public service announcements and thousands of years worth of God praising, I reckon we need a bit of time off to suck up the sulphur fumes of Lucifer’s chalky farts and let the good times roll.

It won’t be good for us – but shit it’ll be fun.

It seems more and more people are deciding to not only take a relaxing holiday, but are also deciding to tell their holier-than-thou everyday life to get the hell out of their face for a while. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Jake Fox

April 1, 2011 at 10:16 am

Cheap Beer and Pizza – Am I in Heaven?

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A heavenly sight.

Is there cheap beer and pizza in heaven? You would think so. However I assume heaven would also be extremely pure, so maybe there’s only lentils and wheat grass juice on offer.

But, you don’t have to make a drastic life change such as that to find awesome cheap beer and pizza – you just have to go to Melbourne.

Recently I went to Melbourne for a week to attend a relative’s art exhibition. And I tell you, when it comes to finding a good deal for food and booze – I Was Blown … Away. Read the rest of this entry »

Mmmm, Let Me Share My fart With You.

with 3 comments

It's hard to get away with a sneaky one.

This is the section were we get to have a bitch about what’s pissing us off right now. It’ll always be posted on Monday, just to coincide with the best day of the week – if you’re still drunk from a roaring Sunday session. If not, it’s because Mondays have a tendency to totally blow.

Feel free to comment about what’s pissing you off right now.


Men stink, we really do. We’re all so bloated with protein shakes and red meat and beer, I’m surprised there aren’t instances of dudes just suddenly exploding in a mushroom cloud of limbs and chemical warfare style gas.

There isn’t because we fart. A lot. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Jake Fox

October 4, 2010 at 1:58 pm

Don’t drink? You some kind of pussy?

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So, I don’t drink. Believe me, I would love to. But the choice has been taken away from me recently.

It’s not because I want to wow my hot yogalates instructor, and it’s not because I suffer from alcoholism. My body one day just decided it had had enough and gave me an extreme case of pancreatitis – it’s when the pancreas tries to digest itself. From now on every alcoholic drink is damaging and causes a shit load of pain. A specialist explained why alcohol specifically has this effect, but the best I can come up with in my own words is – it’s like my pancreas is the Death Star with its shields down and booze is like X-Wings on crack attacking it. Oh, and now the shields are down, they stay down. Forever. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Jake Fox

August 12, 2010 at 7:06 pm

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