Spit and Spirits

Posts Tagged ‘Australia

Please, Let Me Kill You – Or At Least Get Angry At You a Bit

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A newly formed habit gradually creeps up on you. You wake up, pick your nose, roll it between your thumb and forefinger and drop it over the side of your bed. It’s only when you vacuum and it sounds like you’re sucking up scattered sand that you realise you’ve been rolling snot and dropping it next to your bed for pretty much as long as you can remember.

'You can relax, little one. The chiwawa is gone.'

‘You can relax, little one. The chiwawa is gone.’

Of course, probably, when you become aware of your new lazy-arsed, snot rolling and dropping habit, you’ll stop – although there will always be something satisfying about mining out a booger the size of a small cockroach. But what if you’ve formed a new habit that you just can’t shake, like wishing a stranger would outrage you enough so you can kill them? Read the rest of this entry »

Men, Get the F##k Off the Couch and Do Some Housework

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The majority of guys are lazy, sooky, mummy’s boys. Don’t believe me? Have a conversation with any woman in a relationship with a dude and you can bet pretty much most of them will say their man does absolutely nothing around the house. And they mean nothing. As in doesn’t lift a God-damn finger, nothing.

How does this happen? How do two people get to the point where it seems totally normal for one to do every piece of housework while the other doesn’t do any? To me, it sounds like utter insanity. Read the rest of this entry »

Beers and Spray Tans

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'Wow, I look pretty good for 37!'

‘Wow, I look pretty good for 37!’

I’m going to tell you something I swore I wouldn’t tell anyone, ever. And to be honest, I’m a little nervous about it. However I feel this is a safe place. A place of non-judgment. Somewhere we can let it all dangle in the breeze and save our sniggering for later when we aren’t around each other. Not that I do that of course.

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Turning Into a Caveman

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Caveman Training

Are you scared yet? You should be.

I get a varied response when I tell people I go to Caveman Training. The first is usually one of confusion, understandably, and then it’s often a jump to believing I attend some kind of new-age, men’s group where we dress in nothing but a piece of bark over our junk and try to reclaim our lost masculinity. And while dressing like that does sound kind of fun, although a little drafty now that winter is drawing close, Caveman Training isn’t a new-age men’s group, it’s a place where I go for motivation, inspiration, hardship, pain, euphoria, tears, sweat, satisfaction, mateship and maybe a little bit of vomit. And the reason I’m telling you about this is because it’s changed my life. Read the rest of this entry »

Man. You’re A Real Mate

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The other day I witnessed one of the most masculine displays of emotional outpouring I’ve ever seen. That’s right, masculine and emotional. Some say those two words don’t mix, like mixed-netball and enjoyment, but after what I saw I can guarantee you they do.

To be fair to my argument the man getting all emotional was Hugh Jackman. That guy could be getting a man-Brazilian and make it look blokey – except when he dances. Stop the dancing Hugh. Stop that right now. It was during a 60 minutes interview and after being asked a few questions about his father he began to tear up. Rather than stopping or trying to hide the tears, he wiped them away and said “Sorry mate,” to the interviewer and continued on. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Jake Fox

April 4, 2013 at 9:33 am

One Man Salad Please, With Extra Balls.

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Sneaky camouflage salad.

What is a Man Salad?

A man salad, according to one of my mates, is a salad you would be comfortable eating in front of a group of other blokes.

Sounds simple enough in this age of readily available moisturiser and brutes getting pedicures on their Bali holidays – on the insistence of their girlfriends of course – however a Man Salad is a difficult and slippery concept, and one that if executed wrongly will make you run screaming to the nearest pie shop in shame.

Where is that fine line between a salad that gets a laugh and condolences over the tragedy of your lunch, and one that looks good enough to get jealous stares and guilty glances at our own bloated beer-guts? Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Jake Fox

January 5, 2011 at 10:14 am

Cheap Beer and Pizza – Am I in Heaven?

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A heavenly sight.

Is there cheap beer and pizza in heaven? You would think so. However I assume heaven would also be extremely pure, so maybe there’s only lentils and wheat grass juice on offer.

But, you don’t have to make a drastic life change such as that to find awesome cheap beer and pizza – you just have to go to Melbourne.

Recently I went to Melbourne for a week to attend a relative’s art exhibition. And I tell you, when it comes to finding a good deal for food and booze – I Was Blown … Away. Read the rest of this entry »

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